3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
