Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize