Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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