I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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