the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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