So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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