Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
