So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
