i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
