So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
