Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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