I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
