If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
