he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
