it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it hurts more in the daytime
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
