Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize