I just gift wrapped bread.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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