i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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