your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize