k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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