WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
