im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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