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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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