Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i now understand why vodka
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
