i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
