I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
