he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
