i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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