just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
