My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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