theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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