You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
