in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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