just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
