I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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