Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
