I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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