Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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