Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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