look no pants
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
