If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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