dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
