did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize