I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
