You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
