its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
