Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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