About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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