More tranny stories later!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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