If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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