my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
