she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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