Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
