Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
