everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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