I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
