he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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