my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
