Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
