I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
