One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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