my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
