Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I intend to get homeless drunk
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
