The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize