he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
