I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize