So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
